Animal Kingdom
Animal Kingdom is a collection of feudal kingdoms ruled by animals seeking to overthrow the Human Democracy (aka America). History According to legend, after Adam and Eve were evicted from the Garden of Eden, the animals revolted against God and tried to take over the Garden. God displeased with the animals' revolt, He evicted the animals and told Adam that he will have dominion over the animals as his personal slaves as a punishment for revolting against God. Ever since then animals and humans had been at war to see who has dominion over who. Animals have pledge to enslave the human race and get their payback against God. The first leader of the Animals was a wolf named Lupon and he wanted to create France, the idea was so revolting that he was assassinated by a hero and the new leader, his name was Lionel Aslan, the most ferocious land lion in history. The First Kingdom thumb|center|300px| Emperor Lionel Aslan I The First Animal Kingdom was founded six thousand years ago on the mythical land of Africa. It was called the Animalia Empire and it was ruled by the First Emperor Lionel Aslan I. Emperor Aslan single handedly built the Animalia Empire and he conquered the lands that were not occupied by humans, making him a very powerful animal. Emperor Aslan first conquered the Kingdom of Canine in 5,000 B.C., the caninenite population was enslaved and subjugated to serve the Empire as conscripts. Ever since then dogs have become very useful as soldiers of the Empire. After the fall of Canine, Emperor Aslan decided to conquer the Lions of Judah to get their Lion Joowish gold to bankroll the Empire's agenda of conquest. According to legend Emperor Aslan met with a joowish lion that is believed to be a Lion Jesus that helped to convert Aslan into Animal Christianity. History of The First Animalia Empire *Emperor Aslan invades the Canary Island (6,000 B.C.) *Expansion of the Canary Province (5,999 B.C.) *The Tweety Bird Riots (5,750 B.C.) *The Mad Cow Plague (5,700 B.C.) *King Daffy Duck of the Avia Kingdom surrenders to Emperor Aslan, the Avia Kingdom becomes a province of the Empire (5,672 B.C.) *King Daffy Duck commits suicide (5,671 B.C.) *Scholar and Philosopher, Wile E. Coyote, writes treatise on "Natural Law and Falling Anvils" (5,650 B.C.) *Scholar and Heretic, Road Runner, writes counter argument to Wile E. Coyote's treatise, "Beep Beep" (5,649 B.C.) *General Sylvester the Kat dies during the battle for Canary Island (5,625 B.C.) *Emperor Aslan defeats armies from the Easter Island, King Bugs Bunny signs peace treaty (5,624 B.C.) *King Bugs Bunny gives Emperor Aslan bunny girls as tribute. Emperor Aslan takes all the girls as his personal concubines (5,620 B.C.) *Emperor Aslan conquers Kingdom of Canine (5,000 B.C.) *Fido II, Pharaoh of Canine, is paraded on the streets of the Empire as the Emperor's pet (4,972 B.C.) *Emperor Aslan forms the first Dogmatic Guard as his personal bodyguards (4,950 B.C.) *Emperor Aslan meets Lion Jesus, converts into Animal Christianity (4,750 B.C.) *Emperor Aslan dies (4,749 B.C.) *The First Animalia Empire Collapses (4,748 B.C.) Government High King Feudal Lords and Kings Image:Squirrel-King_worth1000.jpg|Larry Nutcracker II: Lord of Squirreland Image:Rabbitking.jpg|King Peter Snowball I: The First Rabbit King of Slobunnia Image:King-Fat-Cat--19299.jpg|King Garfield III: Overlord and Protector of Jimdavia Image:Royaltykat.jpg|Prince Kalbert: Cat Prince of The Principality of Felix Image:King_cat.jpg|Lord Richard the Feline Heart: Archduke of Kat Image:MouseKingSm.jpg|Lord King Louie Maus IV: Mice King of Roquefort Image:Royal_dog_pet_queen_king.jpg|Lady Elizabeth III: Lady and Protector of the Cerberus Protectorate Image:Usagi_yojimbo_0.jpg|Miyamoto Musashi of the Usagi Shogunate: Shogun of the Fuso Kingdom in the very far east Image:Ffx12viera.jpg|Queen Cynthia: Protector and Mistress of Playboy Island Image:Colonelsanders.jpg|Colonel Sanders: Generalissimo of the Republic of KFC (formerly known as the Kingdom of Gallus) Image:Koncatgirl.gif|Princess Azunyan: Protector of the Nyan Kingdom Religion Animals were at first worshipers of a pagan religion called animism in which they believed animals were gods, so they worship each other as gods and they had no problem in developing a big ego in the process. However, this was a problem because that meant that all animals were sacred and that to eat them was tantamount to heresy. This dilemma was really problematic for many carnivores who refused to eat anything but meat and so they were forced to go hungry for years, some suspected that this was actually a herbivore conspiracy to starve meat-eaters so they could take over the government and start their Herbivore Empire. Some even think that animism was actually created by PETA just to push their vegetarian agenda on the Animal Kingdom. The result was the force feeding of tofu to lions. The joowish lions solved the famine crisis by creating their own religion based on kosher in which a special list was created to dictate which animals are ok to eat without being punished by their own divine self. The idea was heralded as awesome and it was copied by the pagan animals, then they killed the joowish lions for believing the silly notion that there is one god and than that god is human. But the idea of making a list of animals good to eat, that was very popular, and so animals to be eaten were selected by demand on special elections (the eating of political animals was for a short while very popular, until new laws were placed that prohibited the eating of an elected official, except senators, but no one likes to eat old meat). The pagan animals started to worship and eat each other without fear of punishment from themselves, but this created confusion and chaos on the Animal Kingdom. Soon there were special interests groups trying to change the "Do Not Eat List" making the accessibility of meat almost impossible, famine soon started to descend on the land as there were less animals to eat on their list caused by years of litigation and bureaucracy. Just before famine took over the land, Lion Jesus appeared and he brought the Gospel of Eating in which salvation can be found by being eaten and that we should only eat tasty animals. The idea is that it is ok to eat animals that are not kosher as it is not a sin therefore it is not a sacrilegious act. Instead one should feel guilty for eating an innocent animal and feel sorry afterward. Is all about being polite while devouring your prey. After that animal paganism was replaced with Animal Christianity, after that the Buffet Crusades were created on the pursue of eating each kind of animal to see who was tasty. Pope Carōta III introduced his theological work "The Eating of Tasty and Dumb Animals" in which it is not only ok to eat tasty animals, but it is also ok to eat dumb animals. If you can find a group of dumb animals, then they are doing them a favor in eating them because life is just cruel and it would be selfish not to eat them, not to mention it would be a waste of good eating. Gay Marriage Economy Military Alliance The Bear Coalition The Animal Kingdom has a treaty with the Bear Coalition to take down humanity, the bears eat the humans and the rest of the animal kingdom takes over the world. But even the Animal Kingdom is suspicious of bears. No one can trust bears. Truce with the Insect Queendom Human Extermination Project War with the Pokemon Confederation After the Animal Kingdom was formed, a lot of animals wanted to join. However, there was one group that was not considered to be animals, some would say they were freaks. The Pokemon are still not recognized by the scientific and the animal community as real Animals and institutional segregation has been established to keep the Pokemon away. A group of Pikachu decided to unite the Pokemon race and form their own Pokemon Nation to destroy the Animal Kingdom and to end their years of abuse and prejudice. The Pikachu Doctrine Pikachu Leadership Image:Pikakon.png|Captain Mugi Kotobuki: Supreme Destroyer of Worlds Image:Pikachugirl.jpg|Natasha Catchthemall: Reich Minister of Propaganda Image:Kawaiipika.jpg|Commander Chika Ito: Reich Minister of Genocide Image:Evilpsyduck.png|Dr. Psyduck Mengele: Chief Medical Doctor and Head of The Department of Experimentation and Evolution Image:Pikachuarmy.jpg|The Pokemon Army The Pokemon Craze Long ago the Animal Kingdom sought to destroy the Pokemon race forever, but they knew that war with the Pokemon would be costly since those freaks have superpowers that no normal animal could handle. So instead the Animal Kingdom sought to unveil an evil plan to destroy the Pokemon race by involving humans on their plan. But humans were scared of Pokemon as well, so they needed to find a way to convince them to solve the Pokemon problem. Emperor Aslan XIII came up with a novel idea, he introduced the Pokemon fad, the idea of capturing Pokemon and then letting them to fight each other to the death in dangerous death matches. Humans would eliminate the Pokemon in an acceptable form of genocide disguised as a sporting event and no one will be the wiser. To make it easier for the fad to spread Emperor Asland XIII suggested to introduce the Pokemon Craze on the children, he knew children would be suckers on anything new and fascinating. It is also a well known fact that children are the driving force and the cause of the majority of pet mortality. Soon children all over the world started to hunt down Pokemons for their own selfish desires; thousands of illegal underground matches sprouted all over the world holding deadly games of Pokemon fights to see who could be a Pokemon Master. One third of the captured Pokemon population died out, if the arena didnt kill you, your new owner would. Many Pokemon fell ill under the mistreatment or negligence of their masters, some were treated worst than pets and abused in horrible conditions. The Pokemon League Pokemon all over the world held a conference to solve the Pokemon genocide, the solution was to declare war on the human race, but one Pikachu came up with a clever idea. Pika suggested that they could use humans to their advantage and that the Pokemon Craze could be the key for Pokemon dominion. Soon after that the Pokemon Cabal was formed but to maintain appearance and secrecy it was openly known as The Pokemon League. On the surface The Pokemon League is an institution for the better treatment and understanding of Pokemon, but their real mission is to reshape human policy to push their Pokemon agenda and their special interests interests. But to start The Pokemon League, they needed to find human supporters and sympathizers and they knew it wouldnt be easy. The Pokemon knew that their first target would be to attain support from the hippie community and from heart-bleeding liberals, they kew they are too easy to manipulate. The Pokemon found support for The Pokemon League by convincing the gullible masses that Pokemons are people too and the Pokemon League will allow the creation of a Pokemon Human Society for the betterment of humankind and Pokemonkind. It was the first step on Human-Pokemon relations, with the idea that Pokemon make good pets as long as they are treated well. The Gym System The Pokemon Cabal sought a way to curb Pokemon casualties and the shut down of underground arena matches. They knew that Pokemon matches were too popular to outlaw, so instead they installed Pokemon Gyms under the control of human handlers to support only official matches. The Gyms also introduced rules and regulations regarding the care of Pokemon as well as Pokemon fights. The new rules helped to reduced Pokemon casualties and were able to establish official Pokemon stadiums all over the world. Soon Pokemon matches became an acceptable sporting event that brought large profits to the coffers of the Pokemon Cabal. The sale of Pokemon merchandise was so large it is their main source of funds. The Gym System helped to raise the Pokemon quality of life. Soon owners were under the obligation to raise their Pokemon in better conditions, give them proper food and shelter, and to provide medical treatment. Owners who failed to raise a Pokemon in good conditions, or abused their Pokemon would lose their Gym Badge and access to Pokemon events. Gym Leaders were given the responsibility to enforce Pokemon Law. Many Pokemon owners spent their life savings just to accommodate and spoil their Pokemon, the Pokemon Cabal exploited this weak human trait so they could bankrupt many humans while fattening their wallets. Soon the Pokemon were treated better than pets, some would even suggest humans started to slowly become their servants subservient to their Pokemon whims. It was becoming clear to the Pokemon Cabal that they could manipulate human will by being cute and innocent, that it would be easy to push their Pokemon Agenda to gullible humans by becoming their friends and their pets, and slowly the human race will become subservient to the Pokemon race financially, emotionally, and military without ever being noticed! It is a horrible yet admirable plan. Many wonder why didnt the Pokemon Cabal just outlaw Pokemon matches altogether so they could stop Pokemon casualties; the reason behind it was that the Pokemon discovered that these matches could help them gather strategic data from gifted humans, information that one day they could use against the Animal Kingdom and even against the human race if they ever discovered their secret plan. Also, official matches would help many Pokemons to evolve into more powerful Pokemons without raising suspicion. If someone raised a question regarding the large increase of evolved Pokemons, it would be easily dismissed as an attempt to raise stronger Pokemons for official matches to reach the goal of becoming a Pokemon Master. Pokemon Universal Healthcare Everyone knows that Socialized Medicine is evil, so why does the Pokemon enjoy Universal Healthcare? Thanks to hippies and liberals, the Pokemon Cabal was able to push support for Socialized Medicine in the guise of a humanitarian agenda for the better treatment and support of Pokemons. The Pokemon Cabal knew that Universal Healthcare for Pokemon not only would raise the Pokemon quality of life, but it would also drain resources from human facilities and hospitals. The Pokemon health care law has higher priorities over that of human priorities and they have the full support of Pokemon owners and Gym Leaders, their love and obsession for Pokemon and Gym Badges has blinded them to the horrible truth: Medical rationing for human, unlimited free medicine for the Pokemon. The Pokemon were slowly taking over their government and the humans didnt even suspect a thing! Worst, as the quality of life increased for the Pokemon, slowly the human quality of life was decreasing. To meat Pokemon demand for better Pokemon medicine and better treatment facilities, the Pokemon Cabal started the Pokemon Center system. A Pokemon Center is a facility were Pokemon could have access to healthcare treatment and other Pokemon amenities. But these centers also had access to sensitive Pokemon Cabal information and it would be difficult to staff the facility with gullible humans that are too dumb to notice their clandestine activities yet smart enough to ran the facilities. So the Pokemon Cabal started a cloning program to create artificial humans subservient and loyal to the Pokemon master race. Soon the facilities were ran by Nurse Joy clones and the majority of their staffs are made up of Chanseys Pokemon (they are dumb and they work for cheap). War with the Volpe Kingdom